The natural and easy way to start writing your memoir.
The other day, I sat down intending to write about my first car. I made a cup of coffee, turned on Spotify, and opened my laptop. But as soon as that blank screen stared back at me, my mind went as blank as the page.
Truth is, every writer faces this moment. It happens so often there’s a term for it: writer’s block. You’ve experienced this too, haven’t you? All of us do, even great novelists. Author Malcolm Gladwell offers this advice:
“I deal with writer’s block by lowering my expectations. I think the trouble starts when you sit down to write and imagine that you will achieve something magical and magnificent — and when you don’t, panic sets in. The solution is never to sit down and imagine that you will achieve something magical and magnificent. I write a little bit almost every day, and if it results in two or three or (on a good day) four good paragraphs, I consider myself a lucky man. Never try to be the hare. All hail the tortoise.”
Writer’s block is the main reason most folks quit writing their memoirs: it’s too frustrating. Memoir writing is supposed to be inspirational, but it’s not. So, let’s investigate why a blank page feels so intimidating and how to start writing your memoir.
Understanding the Blank Page Block
Many who start a memoir late in life share the same fears. They don’t want to be judged. What if people think my story isn’t interesting enough? What stories do I tell, and which do I leave untold? Should I tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” What if I don’t write it the “right” way?
I get it. A lifetime’s a lot to unpack, and you want to do so wisely. Where do you start writing your memoir?
Sure you’re overwhelmed. It’s your life story you’re telling! But don’t let that stop you—you’ve tackled hard things before, right? People overcome obstacles every day: they hike the Appalachian Trail (AT) from Georgia to Maine, learn to play guitar, learn a language, and even write memoirs. What do they have that you don’t? A plan for getting it done. They have embraced the adage, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” They hike the AT one day at a time. They learn guitar one chord at a time. And they write their memoirs one story at a time.
It’s important to remember that memoir writing’s a process. You don’t need to get it “right” this instant—whatever “right” means. The key is to take that first step and let your stories take shape, even if they’re messy at first. There’s no better time to start writing your memoir.
Start Small, Think Big
One of the biggest mistakes of memoir writers is trying to tackle their whole life story at once. That’s like trying to carry every grocery bag into the house in one trip—it’s overwhelming, and something is bound to spill. Instead, start small.
Think of a single story that stands out in your memory: your first car, or date, or a new school, or how you met your spouse. It doesn’t have to be something monumental. In fact, some of the most vivid memoirs are built around ordinary moments: the smell of your mother’s kitchen, the smell of the Chesapeake Bay on a summer evening, or the nervous excitement of your first day at a new job. These small moments often hold emotional depth, and they’re much easier to write about than trying to summarize your life in one sitting.
And here’s a secret: You don’t have to write in order. Chronology can wait. If one memory is vivid or meaningful, start there. You can connect the dots later. The important thing is to begin. Your legacy is more important than you realize.
Practical Strategies to Get Started
Now that you’re ready to write let’s talk about how to get words on the page. If the idea of starting still feels intimidating, these strategies can help:
1. Use Memory Prompts
Sometimes, all it takes to unlock a story is the right prompt. Memory prompts—objects, sounds, or smells—can transport you back to specific moments in your life. Last week, my wife bought some lavender soap. When she unpacked the bar, the fragrance of lavender took me right back to my grandmother’s house in the 1950s. Then, the floodgates opened. I was right back in the arms of Mama Ida.
Here are a few ways to use them:
Photos: Pull out an old photo album or scroll through your digital pictures. Choose one image, close your eyes, and imagine yourself “in the picture.” See everything: the setting, the people, what was happening when the photo was taken. Let your memory fill in the gaps.
Keepsakes: Objects have strong associations and may spark vivid memories. Hold a family heirloom, a childhood toy, or even an old concert ticket. What does it remind you of? Who were you with? How did you feel in that moment?
Music: Play a song you loved during a particular period of your life. Music has a way of evoking powerful emotions and memories. Write about what the song brings to mind.
2. Try Writing Prompts
If you’re struggling to come up with ideas, writing prompts can be a great way to kickstart your creativity. Tell about the house you grew up in, your first big storm, or your broken heart.
Prompts help you focus on specific memories, making the blank page less intimidating.
To build an archive of stories, check out the Memoir Club’s Prompt-of-the-Week email series. Follow the link to the page and learn why this is an effective way to start writing your memoir.
3. Embrace Imperfection
The first draft of your memoir won’t be perfect. First drafts never are. It’s a rough sketch, a way of getting your stories onto the page so you can refine them later. Don’t let the fear of imperfection keep you from writing. As Anne Lamott said, “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts.”
Final Thoughts
That story about my first car? It’s still a rough draft, but I’m okay with that. The point isn’t to get it perfect—it’s to start. So, here’s your challenge: grab a pen, pick one memory, and start writing. You might be surprised where it takes you.
